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There are more distractions today than ever, and maintaining strong ties with things that genuinely matter — like relationships — can be even more challenging than before. Mobile technology means our connection to work, social media, friends, news, and endless internet diversions is absolute. And these are relatively frivolous distractions compared to something more substantial and consequential, such as advancing a career.

To succeed in anything, having focus is necessary. And if you are in a relationship while growing your career, knowing which to focus on (while juggling the other daily distractions) can produce conflict because professional roles and personal bonds are equally vital! Dr. Emery lists seven tools to maintain a robust relationship while growing a career, and the first tool — staying present while you are present — has far-reaching benefits.

Excerpt from: 

7 Critical Tools to Keep Your Relationship Strong While Growing Your Career

Stay Present When You Are Present

When you are together, be present.  While you cannot concurrently make two things your number one priority, you can switch your priorities depending on the time. That means when you do have time to be together (at home, at dinner etc.)  stay present. What being present really means is as your physical self-moves throughout your day, your emotional self keeps up. Presence means you have an awareness of how you relate to another person.

Do your thoughts accompany you from task to task, or does your mind drift and wander, making it challenging to pay attention to conversations or recall what you were just doing? Your body can physically inhabit a space when your mind is elsewhere. This tuning out might happen more often when you feel bored, stressed, or otherwise preoccupied. The level of attention you give your partner speaks to you being fully aware of providing your partner with unconditional loving, undivided attention.  Focusing on the present is free of passing judgments and displaying an ego.  There are no distractions or agendas. The idea is to be with the other person in a “soul to soul” experience in the moment.

Being present (or living mindfully, whatever you want to call it) simply means you’re focused and engaged in the here and now, not distracted or mentally absent. Simply put, you are “presenting” someone energy, a connection, attention and time for anything that person wants to share, and you are fully tuned in.

Examples of this could mean turning off your phones, not answering emails, and or keeping the conversation away from work for an agreed period of time while you are together.  Being physically together won’t be quality time if you are mentally somewhere else.

This dedicated quality time to spend with your partner ideally is in activities that promote connection and enjoyment such as, going for walks, cooking together, or having meaningful conversations.

There are many advantages to being present.  Being present in a relationship allows for a deeper and more meaningful connection with your partner. By being fully engaged in the present moment, you can truly listen, understand, and empathize with your partner’s thoughts, feelings and needs.  This grows a sense of emotional closeness and strengthens the bond between you. Being present improves your communication, increases intimacy, enhances your overall wellbeing and creates overall greater satisfaction.  When both partners are fully engaged and attentive to each other’s needs, desires, and experiences, it creates a sense of fulfillment and mutual support.

Lastly, show up.  Being present in a relationship means showing up when you say you’ll be there.  It is disrespectful to your partner to be late or worst of all, not to show up for any reason.  It sends a message, albeit unintentionally, that you do not honor or value your time together.  I could be interpreted as, “your partner isn’t important enough or a priority for you to show up on time and ready to connect”.  Be careful about using excuses, reasons and circumstances to not be accountable for being on time and present with your partner.

Staying present while you are present is only one of seven tools Dr. Laurie Emery lists in the eBook: 7 Critical Tools to Keep Your Relationship Strong While Growing Your Career. Dr. Emery’s company, Ignite Your Life, is committed to helping every person live their most fulfilling lives and reach their fullest potential. Call today to begin your journey — 561-239-1614, or join our Facebook community here.